When a dad leads his son’s initiatic experience, his own identity and sense of self are on the line. Rohr argues that the relationship between a biological father and his son is too complex for the former to be the latter’s initiator. So too, in traditional real-life cultures all around the world, it was typically a boy’s uncles and relatives who taught him the secrets of manhood during his rite of passage. in our cinematic tales, a boy gets mentored by someone other than his father, whether or not his father is around. Miyagi and Daniel-san great-uncles Hub and Garth and their nephew Walter in Secondhand Lions. English teacher John Keating and his students in Dead Poets Society Obi-Wan Kenobi (and Yoda) and Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Coach Eric Taylor and his players in Friday Night Lights Mr. You see this dynamic in modern stories too. Of course, Odysseus wasn’t available for the job, but the legend is also trading on an archetypal pattern that transcends the particular details of the poem. In the Odyssey, it wasn’t Odysseus who initiated his son Telemachus into manhood Odysseus’ friend Mentor took on this task (it’s from this story that we get our English word “mentor”). The poet Robert Bly notes that in the story of Iron John, it was the wild man, Iron John, that guided the young prince’s initiation into manhood, and not the prince’s father. Jesus went to John the Baptist, an older male relative, for initiation into his ministry. Instead, it’s an older male relative or friend of the father (or group of such relatives and friends) who takes the lead in coming-of-age rituals. When we think about classic rites of passage, we often think of fathers initiating their sons into the mysteries of manhood.īut as Richard Rohr - a Franciscan friar who writes about male spirituality and leads rites of passage for men - notes in his book From Wild Man to Wise Man, in both mythology and in traditional cultures, it is rarely the father who directly guides the initiate. Why Fathers Shouldn’t Be the Ones Who Initiate Their Sons into Manhood But while this idea is very well-intentioned, fathers are in fact the wrong person for the job. Given the dearth of culturally-embedded rites of passage in the modern world, some fathers decide to create their own “DIY” coming-of-age challenges for their sons. ![]() Instead of being generative, their masculine energy becomes destructive. Instead of stepping into their roles and responsibilities, and gaining a sense of confidence, competence, and purpose, they feel stuck in limbo. Without an initiatic experience into positive, grounded manhood, young men are left to be buffeted by the winds of anomie and nihilism. The resulting lack of transitions and pivot points may be a significant source of the ills plaguing men today. Throughout time and across cultures, societies have developed rituals to help usher young men from adolescence to maturity - from dependence to independence.Īs has been noted by cultural anthropologists, rites of passage in the West have declined due to many factors, including suspicion of rituals and disintegration of communities. We’ve talked in the past about the importance of young men having a rite of passage or initiation into manhood.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |